It’s normal for us to become angry. We’re urged to “not let the sun go down on our anger” (Eph. 4:26) because anger is its own kind of energy that can become an addiction that controls us. When this happens, relationships take a back seat to our need to be vindicated or justified. In a word we must “win” no matter the impact on others. When we are in the grip of needing to prove ourselves right everyone is in our way. We have changed from being a person who is angry into an angry person. We can see what happens when angry people gather others around them- we call it “mob” mentality. The proverb offers us a key insight into how we can avoid becoming an angry person. Negatively, do not seek to build a “friendship” with an angry person as they will only pull you into their fire. Instead, positively seek to make friends with those who are good at making peace. Being able to “have” anger without anger “having” us takes time, practice and healthy relationships with others who remind us that we are beloved children of our loving Father.

“Loving Lord, you know how at times I’m tempted to use anger to feel like I matter. Remind me in those moments of your great love in Jesus for me and for the people I find difficult. Help me practice not having to have the last word.”