My wife, Suzanne and I were at the hospital, getting ready for a simple procedure. While we waited, the young nurse helping us discovered we had been married 50 years. She practically shouted, “Wow! That’s amazing!” She shared that she was engaged and asked, “What’s your secret?” Caught a little off guard, I said, “We keep trying.” When she left, Suzanne turned to me and said, “We keep trying? That’s your answer?” There followed a discussion. If we had a “secret” to our life together, how would we put it? We do keep trying. But why? 

The apostle Paul begins this section of his letter to the Ephesian Christians on life together in marriage with a powerful reframe of how Christians view one another: “with reverence for Christ.” In another letter, he writes, “…from now on we can no longer look at anyone from a human point of view…if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation!” (2 Corinthians 5:16-17). This applies especially to how husbands and wives regard each other. When I look at my wife with reverence for Christ, two questions come to mind. The same two questions arise for her about me.

“What is the Lord’s purpose and calling for her life?”

“What is my role in helping her become the person He wants her to be?”

Our participation in Christ’s work and how we can support one another as we are “subject to one another” keep us wondering, searching, and trying. Sometimes we look back on our years together and remember how we’ve grown and changed, and how we’ve allowed each other to do the same. At times, we marvel at God’s goodness and provision in the details of our everyday lives. So we’ve agreed that the next time someone asks us what our secret is, we’re going to say, “Stay curious.” After fifty years of married life, we both feel we’ve only just begun. 

Prayer:
Loving Lord Jesus, 
Help us see others, especially those we see every day, with curiosity about the person you’re shaping them into. Let your Spirit guide us in discovering ways to answer these two questions and in helping us follow you courageously. Amen.