Mourn with Those Who Mourn

Is it easier for you to celebrate with someone or cry with them? In other words, are you naturally a wedding or funeral friend? If I could place my money anywhere, I would wager that most people feel more comfortable sharing in the joy of a loved one rather than their sorrow. Yet, God’s word instructs us clearly to “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn” (12:15). Part of our role as brothers and sisters in the family of Christ is to both soak in the sunshine and sit in the puddle with those who need it.

A big thing that has kept me from showing up for people in their time of heavy emotions is the fear that I wouldn’t have the “right” words. What I have learned both from being on the side of the comforter and the comforted is this:  people remember less of what you say and more that you were present with them. If someone in your life struggles with depression or suicidal ideation, it’s essential to know how to keep them safe and also to understand how to weather these hard seasons with them.

In one of my lowest moments, some good friends simply showed up at my home, arms full of sunflowers and chocolate, and sat with me on the floor while I played with their kids. They didn’t offer any platitudes; they just stayed with me until my soul was reminded that I was not alone in my pain. Their ministry of presence brought comfort and hope beyond words. In one of my darkest moments, I was not alone in my pain.  Don’t be afraid to sit with someone in their dark times – and perhaps bring their favorite treat and a gentle hug.

Resources:

If you are experiencing thoughts of self-harm or harm to another, please reach out to the National Suicide Hotline for anonymous counsel and resources: 988. If you’d like to connect with a counselor or pray with a pastor at Calvary, please contact our confidential 24/7 Minister On-Call line: 818-991-8040.