Yesterday, we considered the importance of a clear message. Today, Paul reminds us that the messenger matters as well.

Growing up, I remember never knowing how to behave around the sick, the dying, or their grieving families. Funerals and hospitals were uncomfortable. I never knew how to approach them, and I especially didn’t know what to say. Comforting the suffering is hard when you haven’t suffered much yourself. 

Then my dad got cancer. He fought it for years. There were surgeries and hospital visits. Good news. He went into remission. Bad news. It came back. More hospital visits. A full-time care facility. More bad news. Hospice. And then he died.

Suddenly, I was turning thirty and had been through a lot of grief with my family. I was the guy who lost a godly father to a terrible sickness far too soon. I started finding it less uncomfortable to relate to the sick and the grieving. We had something in common now, and our shared suffering bound us together. There was instant trust. I was a welcome voice of comfort and faith in God. I was instantly believed when I said: “God is our hope for healing and our comfort in tragedy.” I didn’t learn anything new about relating or empathy; I just suffered and grieved, was comforted, and knew what to do now. I didn’t learn a script; I lived a process. My life experience qualified me to comfort the grieving.

If you’ll allow me a brief tangent, that’s God’s wonderful design. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says that the Father of compassion and God of all comfort comforts us in all our troubles, so we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we receive from God. Praise our good heavenly Father!

That’s exactly what Paul has in mind. 

Most people won’t believe the gospel because a Christian beat them in an argument. They’ll believe it because, over time, they’ve learned to trust the person speaking and have seen a reflection of God’s goodness. They’ll notice how you treat your spouse, whether you’re patient when provoked, whether you speak kindly about others when they’re not around, how you treat the cashier at the grocery store, and whether your words consistently match your actions. Before they let your verbal profession of faith in, they’ll consider the cumulative evidence of your life, choices, and actions.

Unbelievers may not know much about the Bible, but they know exactly how a (good) Christian should behave. They expect us to live lives marked by humility, integrity, kindness, patience, and love.

Paul tells us to “be wise in the way you act toward outsiders.” Wisdom isn’t only knowing what to say. It’s living in such a way that your life qualifies you to speak into others’ lives, so that your words carry weight when the opportunity to speak arises.

Final thought: Ask God to help your life and your lips tell the same story today.